Let’s Marie Kondo this. Does “this” bring you joy?
Why so Negative?
It’s so easy to fall into the “whoa is me” hole. It really depends on who you are around. “Just be positive” doesn’t work. I love this, its like telling someone to “heal” after getting the flu. Like… okay? As if it were that easy.
Negativity is infectious. It can invade all of your senses and can prevent you from growing. I don’t care if this growth is to be in the next top 10 CEO’s or if you just want to improve your mood. Negativity is gross.
More Problems about Negativity
Negativity can isolate you. Most people can only handle a certain amount of extra stress and if you’re 50% of their stress guess who is going to be cut when things hit the fan? Also, as it is infectious, if you’re the vent board for every issue in someones life, you’re more prone to be negative yourself.
Say goodbye to your immunity. Literally there are studies showing that negativity can actually lower your immune response. That negative thought pattern can hinder your decision making and make it harder for you to process information effectively.
It’s like wearing sunglasses inside, every color is tainted. If someone asks you to name colors while you’re wearing those glasses it’d take a few seconds longer to figure out.
More importantly, let’s work towards moving away from Negativity.
Let’s take those stunner shades off.
Personal Actions to Take
- Set reasonable goals, don’t take too much on. Set smaller goals to get used to feeling the rewards and sense of accomplishment. This will help regarding tasks and work.
- Reset your “no”. Honestly, try saying yes when people ask you to do things. Try things outside of your comfort zone to see if you have a change in feeling.
- Have you ever heard of power poses? This sounds strange but research has been done regarding how we stand. When we are intentional (for instance putting our hands up and opening up our chest) we naturally feel more prepared. Harvard completed a study on this in 2012 showing it can help.
- Choose to look at the situation from a positive position. This takes honest practice and when you’re agitated it can be difficult. This can be learned just as the negativity was learned if you’re willing to put the work in
- Gratitude. On day’s where I’m feeling like I’m in a funk I think of all the ways (and write down) everything I’m thankful for. This pulls us out of our own environment and allows us to remind ourselves what we have. This also helps remind us what our values are, what we cherish, which allows us to feel more in control and positive.
What to Do About Negative People
Move away slowly, before you’re dragged down too
You know who I’m talking about here, that toxic co-worker or the friend who has drama every single d*&^ day of their life. If you take this on, it’ll become harder and harder for you to get it off You’ll dig yourself in the hole with them.
First, find the people who lift you higher, inspire you, and who are willing to take time for you. The natural tendency will be with these people first because after you’re with them, you’ll feel the inspiration or the energy they add to your life. You won’t feel like you’re trekking in mud.
Set the limits
Distance yourselves emotionally. There are people we can’t physically get away from, so instead of wallowing with them, listen with compassion. Don’t absorb and don’t fully invest. You can have empathy without diving nose first. Also, try to redirect some of the negativity, but eventually this may feel futile.
It’s like moving away from second hand smoke. Don’t sit there and breathe it in.
Pick your Battles
It is so easy to get annoyed and agitated around high levels of negativity. Just thinking about this right now I’m tensing up. It is a nasty feeling. Take a deep breath and realize that sometimes when you challenge something, it often just appears like you’re argumentative. Walk away from unnecessary comments and distance yourself. Use excuses “I need to get back to work” or “I have some more charting I need to do”. Protect your energy because there is no shame in it.
Pay it Forward
Give back. Make people smile and offer to help when you can. Volunteer for awhile and try to make an effort to provide a positive vibe around people. I was told recently at work that I’m the first person to say “hi” to one of my co-workers and it makes his day. Simple things like this can really impact people.
Barack Obama says “if you go out and make good things happen, you fill the world with hope, and you will fill yourself with hope.”
Remember
Protect your energy. If you’re used to being around negative people (like family) try volunteering, or join a meet-up group. Go to events with positive role models where you can connect with like-minded individuals. Hello Facebook.
Don’t let yourself be buried with the negative. Allow yourself to shine with the positive.
