Everybody in 2018… “Do you self-care?”
This is the most over-asked question of 2018. What does self care even mean? Some think it means vegging out and sitting in front of Netflix. Some thinks it’s just sleeping for 14 hours. But what are the “goals” of self-care?
When I’m triggered or having one of those days that I ponder hiding under the bed until the it’s time to sleep again, I go over my daily schedule.
Did I eat three meals? Were they beneficial meals (not just sugary, quick to grab foods) Did I take a shower? In the past when I’m at my lowest of times, I lay in bed, often staring at the ceiling or at the TV, I eat nothing nutritious just things I can grab quickly, and I over-sleep. But now, after so much time, I’m spending my time building my resiliency and my ability to not just crawl back into bed.
At my lowest time I had a therapist tell me that escaping to my bed is “okay”. I’m allowed to lay in bed and feel safe. This is what I now consider self-soothing.
But really, was this beneficial for me? Climbing into bed, trying to make the pain stop?
When my anxiety is at an all time high, shaking, feeling like I need to be in the fetal position, there is nothing else I could do. But what about when we are so emotionally numb that we feel like zombies?
Self soothing is when you’re so destabilized that the only thing you can do is be in the fetal position and focus on breathing. When you’re feeling like you are fighting to just breathe. This is when getting through the day is enough.
Self-care I consider being active. Actively in a position where you are trying to “better” your life. Self-care is what gives back. Makes you feel more balanced, and helps you build the type of character you want to be. Self -soothing is just “being”.
Self-care is a way to build “you”. Challenge yourself, grow and this can include includes having a therapist that pushes you. Working out, meditating, eating well, trusting your gut, making decisions that impact and increase the quality of your life. Face what is pulling you down. Make that uncomfortable phone call. Forgive that person who isn’t sorry. These are what BUILD YOU. And shield you from stress and adversity. This builds resiliency (here’s a link to help you build resiliency).
Do you engage in self-care or mostly self-soothe?
Talk soon,
Sarah XOXO
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[…] not talking about self-soothing. There’s a difference. Here’s an article on that if you’re interested. Self […]
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